65 Reasons For NOT Moving To The Cloud – Proceed At Your Own Risk!

65 Reasons For NOT Moving To The Cloud – Proceed At Your Own Risk!

65 Reasons For NOT Moving To The Cloud

While navigating the Cloud Computing, VMware, Virtualization and Enterprise 2.0 Group on LinkedIn, I ran across this question, originally asked in Focus, a network of business and technology experts, thought leaders, and veteran practitioners.

“What is a good reason for NOT switching to a cloud computing system?”
Let me begin by saying, that is an excellent question, and one that I recommend should be well thought out during your analysis of any potential Cloud migration. That being said, the question also inspired me to have a little fun, and include some additional reasons why you should NOT move to the Cloud.

Note: For those of you with no sense of humor, please do not proceed. Do not pass Go, and do not collect $200. Proceed at your own risk!

  1. You love new technology – specially all the bright, colorful, blinking lights on the pretty boxes.
  2. You enjoy the feel of cold, hard, metal boxes in the summer and hot metal boxes in the winter.
  3. Writing warranty, maintenance, and big electric checks helps you with your calligraphy.
  4. You find software upgrade discussions intellectually stimulating.
  5. You would miss your current software and equipment provider’s wining, dining, and free trips to the ball game.
  6. You would be bored – No more coordinating the configuration, test, development, and integration of hardware and software? What would you do all day?
  7. You don’t believe in first mover advantage, you’re in the last mover advantage camp.
  8. You’d miss the fun of pulling together business cases to justify infrastructure purchases.
  9. You need the fancy, smart-looking business cases to show key execs how much you can “save” them by spending a lot of corporate money (provided they put you in charge of course).
  10. Your career would be negatively impacted without a large IT budget and staff.
  11. You really like spending time with your procurement team.
  12. You treasure the 6-12 week vacation between ordering equipment and waiting for it to arrive.
  13. You love the crinkling sound of unwrapping shrink-wrapped software.
  14. You don’t even own a hybrid car, forget about a hybrid cloud.
  15. You know you can do better than IBM, HP, Microsoft, Amazon, Google, Salesforce.com, and any other Cloud Service Provider, you just need more time, more staff, and more budget (wink).
  16. No lock-in for you. You enjoy the freedom of buying hardware from either Dell, HP, Oracle or IBM – forever.
  17. You yearn for a good software integration challenge.
  18. IT governance is your middle name.
  19. That corporate budget is burning a hole in your corporate pocket.
  20. You prefer reading and negotiating internal Operating Level Agreements (OLAs) rather than Service Level Agreements (SLAs).
  21. You have stock holdings in your vendor’s company.
  22. Your company buys hardware and software from your vendor because your vendor buys your products.
  23. Your relatives work at your equipment supplier – in fact, she manages your account.
  24. Cloud Service Provider kickbacks are too small relative to traditional provider kickbacks.
  25. You’re really fond of your consultants and systems integrators and would miss them terribly.
  26. You can’t think of anything more entertaining than infrastructure management and support.
  27. Your company is in Tenney Minnesota (population 6), hence poor connectivity and high latency.
  28. You’re less than 3-5 years away from retirement and were hoping to coast from here on out.
  29. You’re concerned about your equipment provider’s channel business and want to support it.
  30. Your internal security is 100% guaranteed – much more secure than having your data in the Cloud. You’d bet your life on it.
  31. You’re memory challenged. As far as you recall you never have outages. You’re always up 100% of the time.
  32. Your internal IT performance is higher and at a lower cost than any Cloud vendor.
  33. Your costs are much more predictable because you know exactly what infrastructure components will cost in the future as you’ve mastered all the variables that may affect infrastructure component prices.
  34. You’re partial to capital expenditures.
  35. You’re devoted to your bank (financing capital expenditures).
  36. You never met corporate debt you didn’t love. The more you take on, the higher you get promoted.
  37. Your accountants would be lost without equipment to depreciate.
  38. You’d have to re-engineer some of your company processes – who wants to deal with that?
  39. Your policies would have to be updated and you can’t remember where you left that old dusty corporate policy binder.
  40. You have all the in-house skills you need to manage your 1990s technology and you’d like it to stay that way.
  41. Your infrastructure costs are low and they’ll stay that way since you have no intention of buying any more software or equipment – ever.
  42. You’re highly dependent on your current infrastructure vendor(s) and relish your Stockholm syndrome.
  43. Your business demands are completely static – you’re not growing or shrinking, you’re dead – hence you don’t need elasticity.
  44. Your employees work 7 x 24 x 365 at maximum capacity weekends and holidays included, so there is no variability in your infrastructure utilization.
  45. You’re delighted by the number 15, as in 15% server utilization. You also like the number 85%…
  46. Your security needs are greater than the Pentagon’s.
  47. You need to be FISMA compliant, and Google Apps is not FISMA compliant – oh wait…
  48. Talking about megawatt consumption makes you feel powerful.
  49. Discussing arrangement of hot and cold aisles makes you feel creative.
  50. If you moved to the Cloud, your recently launched solar project savings will look small.
  51. You like to be in control – you don’t use banks, you carry all your cash in your wallet where it’s safe.
  52. You know there are, and there will be, no rogue Cloud users in your enterprise so you don’t have to consider it.
  53. Sure you outsource, but you know exactly where your data is unlike Health Net and Epsilon.
  54. You’ll do better than RSA, EMC’s anti-hacking division, because you’re not even on the Internet – Ha! The joke is on the hackers.
  55. You started an empire building effort and by golly you’re going to see it through to the end!
  56. You’re certain that Cloud computing is just a fad like the Internet was.
  57. You’ve already done a comparison without including labor, energy, data center footprint and outage costs, and you’re more efficient and effective than the Cloud Service Providers.
  58. You don’t buy packaged software, all your applications are developed in-house.
  59. There is no room for savings and efficiency in your corporate compensation system – You’d get a promotion, raise, staff, and more responsibility if you build it in-house, none of that if you shift the workloads to the Cloud.
  60. You want to easily switch from one Cloud provider to another, just like you easily switch from HP to IBM servers.
  61. Discussions about layers of abstraction give you headaches.
  62. You’re concerned that Cloud providers can see your data – that’s why you don’t use any telecommunications services.
  63. Your internal infrastructure is much more reliable than that of the leading Cloud Service Providers.
  64. Depreciation on your hardware still has a year to go so you’re willing to forgo the greater savings from migrating to the Cloud.
  65. There’s no way to determine CSP performance relative to your own.

I’m certain that you can come up with many more reasons, and much funnier than the ones I’ve posted here. I invite and encourage you to submit them in the comments section. I’d love to read them.

This post was just intended to have a little fun, and in no way meant to indicate that Cloud migration decisions are easy, or to imply that all workloads can be moved to the Cloud.

In all seriousness, you should perform a well thought out analysis, after careful research, before you make a Cloud migration decision. With that in mind, I’ll leave you with NIST’s security guidelines since security is one of the primary considerations, and Michael Crandell’s Top Ten Cloud Computing and Virtualization Myths to get you started on your journey.

-Tune (Out) The Future-

By Ray Depena

2 Responses to 65 Reasons For NOT Moving To The Cloud – Proceed At Your Own Risk!

  1. Pretty interesting list! I think there will be some significant time for a certain level of cloud adoption to become standard across the tech community. It is still a new area for many who have been so used to working with software and physical machines to get the job done.

  2. [...] 65 Reasons for NOT Moving to the Cloud- Proceed at Your Own Risk! [...]

Join Our Newsletter

Receive updates each week on news, tips, events, comics and much more...

Can I Contribute To CloudTweaks?

Yes, much of our focus in 2015 will be on working with other influencers in a collaborative manner. If you're a technology influencer looking to collaborate long term with CloudTweaks – a globally recognized leader in cloud computing information – drop us an email with “tech influencer” in the subject line.

Please review the guidelines before applying.