The Lighter Side Of The Cloud – Elastic Clouds
The Lighter Side Of The Cloud – Cloudier
The Lighter Side Of The Cloud – Privileged
Cloud College: Room Still Smells Like Grapes

Cloud College: Room Still Smells Like Grapes

Cloud College: Room Stills Smells Like Grapes

In light of recent college graduates leaving the fake world of percentages labeled on their work letting you know just how hard you tried, compared to, “Do it again or your fired.” I am thinking stress levels maybe a bit high. I certainly remember after I graduated I would sleep under my bed with all text books because the bed was not a futon. I also bought a thousand scratch and sniff good job stickers too, and I put them on everything I did. My room still smells like grapes. Of course I ran out of these stickers and I was forced to become an adult when I didn’t have the money to pay for more stickers. So I got a job and now I repress my wants to live like a college student with yard work and vacuuming my house. Anyways, if you are a recent graduate with a degree in computer science you are probably working. Of course you can still send this to your liberal arts major friend, because what I am about to offer is valuable information for cloud networking classes at an imaginary school that is designed specifically for their liberal arts major.scratachandsniff

  1. Networking 103 for English Majors.

Yes before you come to class make sure you have drunk a stones weight in absinthe and pick a daisy for the teacher because this class is for the poets. You will learn the finer basics of what a network is, without the scary concept of numbers and computers muddling up your whimsical mind. This class will still allow for your creativity to flourish with the colors of an ether frolic after a reading of the Myth of Lycurgus. You may ask our professor such questions like, “Doth the red blinking light on the triumphant tower of cloud networks show the same anger from Aries’ rage or is it soft and joyous color rejoicing in its abilities liken to the redden cheeks of a cherubim?” Once you graduate from this class you will be ready to teach your fellow IT co-workers about the literary comparisons of storing your files on a network and Chaucer’s intent of the Canterbury’s Tales. Here at Networking for English majors you will learn that the cloud is not just a metaphor for sadness.

  1. Security Protocols for Criminal Justice Majors

Listen up maggots you are the last line of defense between order and UTTER CHAOS! What you will learn from this class will be used out in the real world to provide those working with the cloud the security to sleep at night knowing their files are safe in your trusted gaze. Do you want to disappoint those people sleeping so soundly like babies? I don’t think so. You will learn about deterrent, preventative, corrective, and detective controls to keep little Susie’s My Little Pony box set collection safe from any adult male who is otherwise known as a Brony. Those sickos are not getting by us because we hold the keys tonight. You want to ask questions? Well you can’t I tell you what security is, and then you make it happen.

  1. Cloud Theory for Philosophy Majors

What is a cloud? Can we begin with that first? Yes the outside world of philistines and troglodytes may view it as a machine, a machine that holds abstract numbers strung together to make something digital known in the technological realms as code. This code creates the ability to hold onto other coded items and distribute them according to the will of the person, be it determined or free. Then again is any of that real? What can we say about the cloud?

1. The cloud was created by man.

2. All men are mortal with a finite lifespan.

3. Therefore, the cloud network is mortal.

That seems like a misstep in logic but for all we know our logic is misled! Why if men are moral and clouds cannot work without men do they not feel the stinging coldness of mortality as they watch as wither away? This is why we need you to ask . . . the . . . QUESTIONS!

  1. Files on the Go 101 for Anthropologist

Are you the kind of person who is on the go? Someone who feels they are not content until they have hiked every mountain range in Sub-Saharan Africa with nothing but a back pack and a friendly disposition to cultural relativism? Well if that is you have you also ever wondered how all your curry recipes and pictures at waterfalls were sent to all your devices without you manually doing it? No it wasn’t a blessing from the Goddess Willow of the Black Forest. It is actually from this new culture of IT personnel that you can learn about. This aloof group of people’s way of life has never been studied but they do so much for you. Soon you will realize just how the cloud distributes your files throughout your network so you can never go without the music you need for the harvest dance of the full moon.

  1. Painting Clouds for Art Majors

We aren’t kidding anyone here we know you guys were art students so we are just going to give you some paint to make the cloud network hardware look appealing.

By Chris Kenealy

(Image Source: http://www.foodiggity.com)

Chris Kenealy

Chris Kenealy is a 26 year old graduate of Georgia State University, and he is a professional freelance writer for both online and print content. Known for his written work with local non-profit organizations and his highly sarcastic jorunalism ;) work on pop culture he is happy letting his writing make others laugh, think, or both. Chris is also currently a freelance writer for CloudTweaks.

Sorry, comments are closed for this post.

Popular

Cloud Infographic – The Future (IoT)

Cloud Infographic – The Future (IoT)

The Future (IoT) By the year 2020, it is being predicted that 40 to 80 billion connected devices will be in use. The Internet of Things or IoT will transform your business and home in many truly unbelievable ways. The types of products and services that we can expect to see in the next decade…

Three Factors for Choosing Your Long-term Cloud Strategy

Three Factors for Choosing Your Long-term Cloud Strategy

Choosing Your Long-term Cloud Strategy A few weeks ago I visited the global headquarters of a large multi-national company to discuss cloud strategy with the CIO. I arrived 30 minutes early and took a tour of the area where the marketing team showcased their award winning brands. I was impressed by the digital marketing strategy…

The Global Rise of Cloud Computing

The Global Rise of Cloud Computing

The Global Rise of Cloud Computing Despite the rapid growth of cloud computing, the cloud still commands a small portion of overall enterprise IT spending. Estimates I’ve seen put the percentage between 5% and 10% of the slightly more than $2 trillion (not including telco) spent worldwide in 2014 on enterprise IT. Yet growth projections…

5 Mistakes That Adversely Impact Seamless Cloud Migration

5 Mistakes That Adversely Impact Seamless Cloud Migration

There is absolutely no doubt migrating a section of your IT assets, non-core business processes or the entire spectrum of business systems to the cloud makes immense sense. There are plenty of business benefits linked to cloud computing; most astute businesses are using cloud computing in some capacity or other and if you aren’t doing…

2014 Future Of Cloud Computing Survey Results

2014 Future Of Cloud Computing Survey Results

Engine Yard Joins North Bridge Venture Partners, Gigaom Research and Industry Collaborators to Unveil 2014 Future of Cloud Computing Survey Results SAN FRANCISCO, CA–(Marketwired – Jun 25, 2014) – Engine Yard, the leading cloud application management platform, today announced its role as a collaborator in releasing the results of the fourth annual Future of Cloud Computing Survey,…

Recent

Thinking About Doing Business In China? Consider This…

Thinking About Doing Business In China? Consider This…

Doing Business in China? Consider This…  China’s economy continues to outperform both regional and global markets with double-digit growth for the last decade. IDC believes China’s GDP will maintain growth around 7.2% until 2020, allowing GDP to reach US$18 trillion or 17% of the world total. And with a population of over 1.35 billion people,…

Big Tech Trends For The 21st Century

Big Tech Trends For The 21st Century

Tech Trends For The 21st Century When the historians of the future look back on the 21st century, what will they say? Inevitably, the biggest stories in the coming century will be political and environmental – wars, revolutions, and natural disasters always dominate historical memory. But perhaps more than any previous epoch, the 21st century…

The Lighter Side Of The Cloud – Inferiority Complex

The Lighter Side Of The Cloud – Inferiority Complex

By Al Johnson Are you looking to supercharge your Newsletter, Powerpoint presentation, Social media campaign or Website? Our universally recognized tech related comics can help you. Contact us for information on our commercial licensing rates. About Latest Posts Chris KenealyChris Kenealy is a 26 year old graduate of Georgia State University, and he is a…

Sponsored Posts

From C:\Prompt To CYOD – The Timely Shift To Desktop as a Service

From C:\Prompt To CYOD – The Timely Shift To Desktop as a Service

The Timely Shift to Desktop as a Service There may be some colleagues lurking within any given workforce who remember what a C:\> prompt meant. Much like the ring from Middle Earth, it had the power to make things happen. Desktop computers at that time were large grey beasts, with their only wired connection being…

Contact Us

Contact Us
Sending
cisco_logo_100x100 vmware citrix100
Site 24x7 200px-KPMG


Contributor Spotlight

Established in 2009, CloudTweaks is recognized as one of the leading influencers in cloud computing, big data and internet of things (IoT) information. Our goal is to continue to build our growing information portal, by providing the best in-depth articles, interviews, event listings, whitepapers, infographics and much more.

Branded Content Programs

Advertising