PSAs for the Cloud
I am going to need you to turn on Arms of an Angel, by Sarah McLachlan, that you have stored on your cloud as you read this article. It will just set the mood.
1) The Weather
The concern for your safety when it comes to dangerous times is something to never take lightly. As the saying goes, “When it rains, it pours.” Hello, I am that kid who is severely younger than you, much more sarcastic than you care for, and knows way more about technology than you ever will. The ironic part being I have only been alive for fourteen years. When it comes to cloud computing there are a number of people who just are sooooo smart. A study asked many people how they think rain would interact with cloud computing here. Now it may be excusable to confuse the cloud with a name brand, but there are sooooo many out there that think the rain is going to disrupt the cloud network from function. That is why I am here to roll my eyes at you and say, “Cloud computing does not use real clouds in the sky to store your pictures of your cat. Please if you know someone who turns off all their devices because it is raining outside send them to the closest IT personnel so they can have a little joy in their otherwise painful, “I just downloaded a free screensaver of Dilbert on my company laptop and now it won’t start,” life.
2) Eggs in a Basket
A common misconception in our daily lives comes from the age old proverb, “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.” Being that you might lose everything in one swift action. Hello, I am disgraced celebrity that is trying to make a comeback after being caught driving under the influence and fighting a police officer for a candy bar. With cloud computing you can put all your eggs in one basket, and feel safe about it. You no longer must have your music on just your MP3 player and your pictures on your camera, those days will no longer haunt you. Now you can put all your files, music, pictures, and more into one basket, the cloud basket. This way we can share everything in one place and never be scared of losing it all because of carelessness. If only I thought of using the cloud instead of fumbling with my MP3 player while taking a self picture of myself when I was driving my convertible on the wrong side of the road going 110 mph I wouldn’t have to be here. So thank you cloud computing and that is what you need to know.
3) Passwords need a Top Shelf Number
Life can become a dangerous place for the best of times and the worst of times. Criminals are lurking on the streets thinking of clever ways to steal, kill, and destroy your online identity. Hello I am that famous children’s actor that tours around the world singing pointless songs that your children have begun singing the second they saw me in this commercial. In this perilous time you can only trust yourself… with your cloud security. All there is between you and the thief that wants all your Ace of Base albums is a simple collection of key strokes, then pretty soon it won’t be just you with open eyes who saw the sign. So remember boys and girls keep your password out of the reach from bad guys with keyboards by adding a number to your password from the top shelf. Also, don’t forget boys and girls if your parents won’t pay the ticket price to see me in person then they clearly don’t love you.
4) Mobile Lifestyle
Your life is on the go and you don’t have time to slow down, kids had to wait, marriage had to wait, even your birthday has to wait for you to get off the phone while crunching numbers on your tablet. Hello I am ex-triathlon winner and balding sports legend coming to you to speak about the important of mobile connections. When I was in the middle of the swimming sections I could only think of how life is going by too fast and that I might be missing out on something on the land. So once I broke the world record for swimming I realized that sometime I get ahead of myself and I need to slow down and spend some time with the ones I love. Luckily with cloud computing I can slow down and play with my children because with the cloud I can take a picture of my girls soccer game and send it straight to my computer for granddad to see. I am always on the go but with the cloud now I don’t have to worry about my kids thinking I don’t love them anymore.
Some poor soul, somewhere, at sometime, is using cloud computing as we speak and they have no idea they are or what cloud computing is. Would you be an angel and take the time to share Cloudtweaks with them?
By Chris Kenealy