The Inadvertent Cloud User

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The Inadvertent User

In our vast population, I have found that knowing about something seems to make people believe you are in expert in that subject and forever branded as such. For example, remember when you said one time when you were eight that you wanted to take pictures and every year since then your grandmother has been buying you cameras and film thinking you are the next . Of course if you get that reference you must be a photographer and are now defined only as such. So it is funny, especially in such a technologically driven age, when people are asked about a technical question about computers they will either be a normal person and help if they can or cower in fear. The cowering always amazed me. I assume these people must think that if they show the slightest bit of computer knowledge they will be forever branded a nerd. Thus, they will be doomed to work in a dark dusty basement for the rest of their lives surrounded by the computer towers they claim they know nothing about with Marlon Brando lying on his back in a dark room reciting next to you, “The Horror, The Horror.” Regardless, here are a few examples of inadvertent cloud users who claim to not get into that, “computer stuff,” whom I have come across with since my recent interest in the world of cloud networking. LET THE IRONIC SITUATIONS COMMENCE!!

1. The Student

Ohh college life, it is a time when you get to define yourself in a crowd full of twenty year olds who are also trying to be themselves but also wanting to fit in. The pull to push ratio is in constant flux, and no one has time to admit to clichés of technology knowledge when you are a theatre major. Of course, the ironic part being that you might need some knowledge with computers since a theatre major might get you the job of flipping a we buy gold sign on the side of the road. Well, I digress. I was helping edit a paper of said student, and this person had it on their tablet. I asked said person if they had a cloud storage service set up so I could access their work on a laptop to do my edits. “Oh no, I am not actually into all that computer stuff,” said the person, “I just use Google Docs to write all my papers on so you can just log on with my account and edit it.” To that I just smile to myself wondering if they knew what I was originally talking about in the first place. You know that nice superiority feeling you get that everyone hates but you. So refreshing!

2. The Small Business Owner

I always loved the phrase that business moves at the speed of you, but then you have to move at the speed of business. As we all know business is fast so you better keep up with the rest or the dust of business will leave you choking from the amount of speed it has to kick up dust and shake things around. Business! So it came to my surprise that a recent employer of mine needed me to have some past advertisements so I could come up with a new line of content. Of course, they didn’t have them on hand in the meeting, to which I ask if they have a cloud I can connect to and pull the work from there. “Oh no, no, no we are not a big enough company for all that, but I will just put what you need in our Dropbox and you can pull it from there after the meeting.” To which I nod and paint a fake smile on once again because this is someone who wants to pay me, so no back talk. Of course, now I wonder if cloud networking is a niche term since this happened twice.

3. A Parent

So what do parents love to do more than anything else that you dread will happen every time you see them? The chance to talk about their children! To be fair it is no different from that one thing that you have allowed to take over your life and nestles itself into the center of your universe. You know that one thing you live for, let me help you, it is that attractive cloud blogger’s weekly post. Really it is because you love his charming personality or his overt humbleness that causes you to stand back in soak in each delicious word. So, as you have predicted by the third section… “Oh I just got these new pictures in of my kids done by the photographer you told me about.” I grab her tablet and ask if they are on her iCloud. “Ohh I don’t know how to use all that techie stuff I just have them all saved on Snapfish. Just go to the website and login in but let me find where I wrote my password down.” A laugh of disbelief escaped my mouth thinking there cannot be this many people who don’t know what a cloud is, and I know now this is not niche because they are on every Apple product. So I add another stress wrinkle and wait and log onto her website.

4. The Roommate

This section is really going to be the litmus test if my roommate actually reads my work or not like he says he does. Well let me first say that moving is frustrating, and I am so sick of living out of boxes that I wish there was a cloud for all my physical stuff to where I could press a button and everything is delivered for free to my new place. I know what you are thinking, they are called moving companies, but I said for free. I am a writer in a world of non-readers. I need things to be cheaper. So as my roommate and I are getting this new house ready, I needed to look at the paint colors, he choose. The problem was they were on his laptop, which he didn’t have, so I asked if he had his cloud set up. “Uhh I don’t use the cloud system I rather just save all my stuff in my email that way I can get it on any device.” Well I convince him that is what the cloud does but sure enough he doesn’t want to upload anything to a network for anyone to see. With that my annoyance on the subject has reached it limit and now I am painting the walls whichever way I like and I am thinking all black everything. The walls, the ceiling, and the carpets, everything black to match my faith in humanity and their technological evolution…

I wonder when the day will come when cloud networking will stop being that techie thing that I don’t anything about. To something like Facebook how a teenage girl emerges from the shadows and say, OMG really, every time you tell someone that you are not on Facebook or Twitter. Then she will fall back into the shadows only to berate you later for being weird. Maybe one day my teenage berating dream will come true, maybe one day.

By Chris Kenealy

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